Wednesday, December 09, 2009

5 Golden Rules of managing personnel issues

First and foremost the organisation when considering applying any disciplinary procedure must first consider the 5 indicators of fairness of the proposed actions of punishment which each

Consideration must be passed for any employment decision to survive scrutiny of both internal and external assessment.*

 

·    Counseling – Obviously except in the most serious of cases, was the employee both told of a deficiency and given a reasonable chance to correct it?

·    Consistency - Are similar disciplinary problems handled similarly and to the same degree?

·    Appearance - Do our actions appear to be fair actions when viewed by an outside observer? Do you see the wood despite the trees?

·    Rationale – Has the employee been provided with a reason for the decision leading to the punishment and was it the real reason they are being punished?

·    Evidence - Can you point to a performance review, written warning, a note in a personnel file, a CCTV camera, or some other evidence (internal or external) that supports allegation? You generally need at least 3 different pieces of independent evidence to establish a fact in court.

Finally after having read a lot of employment tribunal cases the final test is what I call the “self test” are you really being fair? Have you treated the employee as you would want to treated (or as you would want your wife, kids, friends, parents, etc. to be treated), if some past employers had considered this one thing then fewer tribunal cases in number would have fallen in favour of the employee.

Most tribunals are consisted of people like you and me and if tribunal members feel that the plaintiff was treated the same way the they would want to be treated, the tribunal members will be much less likely to find in the employee's favour.

*Internal assessment being work colleagues and collective moral and external the industrial tribunal and public opinion.

 

So applying the above to the situation of the Environmental Audit the organization must act to apply the consistency rule.

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Kids Viewpoint on growing up!

A small boy’s mother told him the key to life was happiness.

When the little fella was at school, his teacher asked him to write down what he wanted to be when he grew up.

He wrote one word “happy!”

The teacher said he didn't obviously didn’t understand the question.

He said the teacher didn't understand life!"

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

5 Great Lesson For Life Do Read!

LIFE LESSONS:

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you £800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift..

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way..
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity..

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager..
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who s***s on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of s*** is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep s***, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Computer trouble! Was ID TEN T ERROR!

An old college friend told me of his computer issue he was experiencing, but he live a long way away; so there was little I could do.
In the end he called on his 14 year neighbour called Mathew, whose bedroom aparently looks like Mission Control, so he asked him to pop around and fix it. Mathew clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem in 5 minutes.
As he was walking away, my mate called after him, 'So, what was wrong? Mathew replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
My mate said "oh! That error again, I'll have to remeber the fix for that one!"
"Yes! You will!" replied Mathew.

My mate didn't want to appear stupid, so he accepted the error report knowing he could ask me later.
So he rings me and says what's an, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Any way I say to him not a problem got a pen and paper as you don't want to forget the fix i am going to give you.

Said friend hurries of for pen and paper then returns.

"OK! write it down and I think you'll figure it out.'

About a minute later I hear him swear!

He must have figured it out answer below!

............................................................

I D 1 0 T

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Untitled

ITV has announced that Katie Price will become the first person ever to appear in I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here twice and all over the country the sound of no one giving a sh1t has broken out. Another reason not to watch telly.

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Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Scary story

A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER...

FASTER..

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP......

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP....

clappity-BUMP...

on his heels, as the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...

and,


The coffin stops

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Monday, September 28, 2009

I was thinking of starting up a small zoo

I was thinking of starting up a small zoo, so I wrote a letter to London Zoo;

"Dear Sir, I'm starting up a zoo, please send me 2 mongooses."

I thought that didn't sound right so I tried again;

"Dear Sir, I'm starting up a small zoo, please send me 2 mongeese."

Nope, that still didn't sound right;

"Dear Sir, I'm starting up a small zoo, please send me 2 mongi."

Ahh sod it I thought,

"Dear Sir, I'm starting up a small zoo, please send me a mongoose.

P.S. Send me another one."

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What do you get if you cross a Poodle with a Hyena?

I don't know but I’ll join in if it laughs!

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Government Grants Fiddle

I have just had a very surreal experience regarding an existing government grant for energy saving bulbs.

Last Thursday

Met a person last Thursday (let’s call her Tracy) week purporting to be from our regional development agency, in the end Tracy was selling LED and CFL bulbs on behalf of other suppliers.

When I visit her website it says she is a PR person, but website is still under construction.

In effect Tracy was heavily pushing for us to apply for an interest free capital grant from the government to purchase light bulbs!???

Which is a bit strange for me to absorb from two points:

1.       Would you get a loan that lasts 5 years to buy an consumable product that only lasts 1 year? (This is a bit like increasing your mortgage to buy a flash car, then pay it off over 25 years, when the car depreciates in value and only lasts a max of 12 years)

2.       Why is there a grant for something that is common sense and economically viable without a grant?

Anyway I listened intently to Tracy to find out more and the price of the bulbs well, let’s just say I can get the bulbs cheaper at Tesco let alone importing from China.

At the end of the meeting I summarised and concluded with Tracy that we were better of continuing getting bulbs direct, Tracy finished by saying it is unusual to meet an informed person with regard to bulbs costs.

So cut to Today.

So cutting to the “fiddly bit” so anyway I can buy these bulbs direct from the manufacturer in China at a fair rate which means they pay for themselves in under a year and last for around 3 years consuming 5% of their incandescent equivalent.

Cut to surreal phone call I had, from the approved supplier, who as it turns out is a 10% broker for a number of approved suppliers.

Tracy: “OK I know you are buying these bulbs at a very good rate direct from China. How about we fill out the grant forms and we put our margin over the bulbs you bought from China and we pretend you bought them of us. That way you get you grant and we get our commission.”

David: “But we haven’t bought them from you”

Tracy: “Nothing to worry about we can sort that side out for you”

David: “But isn’t that unethical”

Tracy: “No because you are getting what you want”

David: “????????????????????????”

What is this country coming too? When you can have grants for things that do not need grants!

What do you think? Have you seen similar total nonsense and cheating on the tax payer? (apart from MP’s expenses)

 

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Friday, September 25, 2009

sharing a little water with koalas

Cyclist shares water with a Koalas, is has been very hot and dry in Australia this week.

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Monday, September 14, 2009

It is with sad news that I report that H from Steps has passed away!


Add other email accounts to Hotmail in 3 easy steps. Find out how.


Add other email accounts to Hotmail in 3 easy steps. Find out how.


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Have more than one Hotmail account? Link them together to easily access both.

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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Economics Explained for Children!

THE DUFFERS GUIDE TO ECONOMIC MODELS EXPLAINED WITH COWS

 

 SOCIALISM

 You have 2 cows.

 You give one to your neighbour.

 

 COMMUNISM

 You have 2 cows.

 The State takes both and gives you some

milk.

 

 FASCISM

 You have 2 cows.

 The State takes both and sells you some milk.

 

 NAZISM

 You have 2 cows.

 The State takes both and shoots

you.

 

 BUREAUCRATISM

 You have 2 cows.

 The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then

throws the milk away.

 

 TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

 You have two cows.

 You sell one and buy a bull.

 Your herd multiplies, and

the economy grows.

 You sell them and retire on the

income.

 

 SURREALISM

 You have two giraffes.

 The government requires you to take harmonica

lessons

 

 AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

 You have two cows.

 You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four

cows.

 Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped

dead.

 

 CitiGroup VENTURE CAPITALISM

 You have two cows.

 You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters

of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute

a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all

four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of

the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island

Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights

to all seven

cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company

owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a

new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No

balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

 

 A FRENCH CORPORATION

 You have two cows.

 You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because

you want three cows.

 

 A JAPANESE CORPORATION

 You have two cows.

 You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an

ordinary cow and produce twenty 

 times the milk. You then create a

clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it

worldwide.

 

 A GERMAN CORPORATION

 You have two cows.

 You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a

month, and milk themselves.

 

 AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

 You have two cows, but you don't know where they

are.

 You decide to have lunch.

 

 A SWISS CORPORATION

 You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to

you.

 You charge the owners for storing them.

 

 A CHINESE CORPORATION

 You have two cows.

 You have 300 people milking them.

 You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine

productivity.

 You arrest the newsman who reported the real

situation.

 

 AN INDIAN CORPORATION

 You have two cows.

 You worship them.

 

 A BRITISH CORPORATION

 You have two cows.

 Both are mad.

 

A FRENCH CORPORATION

 You had two cows

But you only get to milk one per day as you knock off at lunch time.

Later you find you lost the other cow as you surrendered them to a passing army.

Now you’re not bothered as your drinking wine and it is half passed 3 in the afternoon.

 AN IRAQI CORPORATION

 Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

 You tell them that you have none.

 No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy..

 

 AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

 You have two cows.

 Business seems pretty good.

 You close the office and go for a few beers to

celebrate.

 

 A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

 You have two cows.

 The one on the left looks very attractive.

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Fire in Front of Crown Spa Hotel Today

Not sure of the cause, but looks like one of the Victorian Shelters has been set alight!

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Being Green is Easy and Saves Money!

Over here at the Crown Spa Hotel we are presently fitting 22 solar panels to the roof and hopefully they will save around 9 standard UK households of CO2 per year. This is the final stage of our progress to reduce our carbon footprint from our 2005 levels.

Since 2005 we have reduced our CO2 from fossil fuels by 25% from 1,005,000 KG to 761,662KG CO2 in 2009. This reduction has mainly been down to behavioural changes like turning off lights, turning off unnecessary heating, computers etc...and factoring in power usage into the cost of equipment we buy.

The recent much publicised changes at the Crown Spa like wood burning boilers and solar panels have as yet to really kick in and affect the CO2 figures, these are what I call "quick fixes" as they instantly reduce CO2 emissions without the need to change behaviour.

Changing behaviour will reduce your power usage the greatest amount, 3 simple things we put into place which worked for us;

·         Using cheap monitoring systems like "energy monitoring devices" (Google it!), which monitor local Phase 1 to 3 electrical feeds and give instant feedback as to usage and you can even pre-program an audible alarm when a pre-set KW limit is reach, they are relatively cheap at £25 - £50. These monitors can be located at sub power panels not just the mains feed meter. These units allow you to see what is using power when you “shut up shop”, I was amazed that a PC used 20Watts when turned off, £10 per year per PC, when not switched off at the mains! We also lent these "energy monitoring devices" to managers to try at home, many have reduced their electricity costs per quarter by £30 and hence usage by turning lights off in unused rooms, TV off at mains at night, these habits are then replicated at work..

·         Assess heating and drafts, just like at home close the door or window to prevent drafts which suck energy out of the building, the main pain of my life in the hotel is the air conditioning being on when it is not needed! Or doors wide open and heating on! Yes you need fresh air but not too much, just encourage clients to close the door behind them or team members to be more aware of closing doors and windows

·         Factor in power usage in your purchase decisions, many websites allow you to calculate running costs (in power usage and £’s) for comparable electrical items. For example the GU10 LED bulbs from China cost around £8 and use around 2.5W each lasting around 50,000 hours (and can now give the equivalent of a 50W halogen light), the equivalent GU10 Halogen light uses 50W of power and lasts around 5,000 hours for £1.20 per bulb. So which choice is the best financially? Well the halogen is much cheaper to buy especially if you are buying in quantity. However, if you assume that each light is lit for 8 hours per day then in 1 year the total cost to power the Halogen light is £16 and the LED £9, effectively the LED has paid for itself in 7 months! Plus it last 10 times as long.

So reducing your CO2 footprint from fossil fuel derived power is not an expensive exercise, it does not require lots of knowhow, just changing habits, behaviours' and most importantly it can be justified financially even in a recession.

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It's Official Custard Creams can KILL!

Custard Creams have been banded by the Crown Spa Hotel, Scarborough Health and safety Team, due to recent survey. On hearing of the survey (results below) this David Frank a Director at the Crown Spa Hotel immediately removed all Bourbons, Wafers and Custard Creams from the staff vending machine stating that the Risk is just too great! He was seen wandering away muttering something about taking the items into safe custody, I couldn’t personally verify this as he mouth was full!

An astounding 25 million Brits have been injured whilst enjoying a biscuit, according to a survey commissioned by the makers of the very addictive Rocky Biscuit.

500 required hospital treatment, the research company MindLab International who carried out the through research determined that almost 30% of adults have been scalded by hot beverages while dunking, 10% have broken a tooth or filling, while 26% had chocked on crumbs.

Biscuit tins did not escape analysis either, 7% of our fellow nationals have dropped a biscuit tin on their foot and another 7% were bitten feeding biscuits to a domestic pet or “wild animal”, 3% poked themselves in the eye with a biscuit (What?) and 3% fell of a chair reaching for a biscuit.

Thankfully MindLab also carried out a "Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation" (BITE) to determine which was Britain’s deadliest tasty morsel. Dr David Lewis a Mindlab director explained: “We tested the physical properties of 15 popular types of biscuits, along with aspects of their consumption such as ‘dunkability’ and crumb dispersal. “Then one of our mathematicians correlated these findings with research data and responses from a nationwide survey of 1,000 adults.”

Top of the BITE danger list is the Custard Cream with a BITE rating of 5.63 it is nigh on twice as dangerous as a Ginger Nut!

Those of you who like sucking a Ginger Nut can relax they are reasonably safe!

The safest biscuit is the Jaffa Cake with a BITE rating of 1.16. The BITE ratings have been graphed for clarity of safety.

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You a Teacher? Do You fear Chelsea, Connor, Callum

A recent survey of 3,000 teachers by Bounty.com revealed that as the teacher eyed the register in September, they'll be nervously keeping a sharp look-out for certain names which "strike fear into the nation's blackboard bother’s".

The list of those likely to make mischief includes young 'uns dubbed Aliesha, Brooke, Brooklyn, Casey, Chelsea, Connor, Crystal, Demi, Jack, Jake, Jessica, Kyle, and Liam.

Doubtless there are those among you who have a lad called Jack who's an absolute angel (Yeah! Right!), however the teacher has already got him marked down as a “wrong 'un” as soon as they clock his name.

Indeed, 49 per cent of those polled admitted they "make assumptions about a child when they take their first look at the register in September".

Bounty’s Faye Mingo diplomatically offered: “Teachers are only human and make assumptions like the rest of us. Rightly or wrongly, most of us make assumptions based on something as simple as a person’s name and we base these on our previous experiences."

There is, however, some good news for Jessica or Demi's mum and dad: 57 percent of those polled said "the naughtiest children at school are also the most popular and often make friends easier than well behaved children".

Furthermore, over a third "claimed that the naughtiest children are often the brightest - and the most sensitive". (Not in my experience though!)

So there you have it. For the record, the poll also gleaned the names least likely to provoke a panic attack, so if you want your kids well disciplined but insensitive and friendless, you'd better stick with Alexander, Alice, Benjamin, Charlotte, Elizabeth, Emma, Harry and William.

There again you could you could stick to naming you kid after the latest popular “numbo-celeb chaff”, though the little ‘un might pay for it latter!

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HP excessive packaging world record put to the test • The Register

As some one who buys a lot of stuff online I can really apreciate the excessive packaging issue. I was once called home to meet a delivery man holding a 1Mx1Mx1M package, confused as I hadn't ordered anything large recently. Just a RAM chio (about 10cm by 2cm). So I opened the box with the delivery man there, yes inside was lots of packaging and boxes in boxes and inside that was the RAM chip. I get the feeling these days that the companies are just trying to get rid of their waste this way and some of the pickers in the distribution centres have a bit of fun putting little packages in large boxes.

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Very Sunny in Scarborough Uk today, sea calm.

Shame I am working! J

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Friday, September 04, 2009

Ever shopped at PC World or Currys?

Find out what the staff think of you at http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2221583084

Language Caution! Some very frank conversations and opinions are given J

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Thursday, September 03, 2009

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Forget Micro Blogging have look at MACRO Blogging!

http://woofertime.com/users/ScarboroughDave

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Microsoft caught in race row, here are the images and what they did!

Is it microsoft or a professional marketing companies perception of the Polish market.

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Success for Pindar and Scalby in GCSE results - COMMENT ON THIS STORY - Scarborough Evening News

student passes for five GCSEs.

"What is most rewarding is that the success has been the result of a five-year programme of developing the right culture, deep learning, student voice and tailored one-one tuition for students, linked to curriculum diversity.

"Deep learning has been one of the most innovative practices we have implemented enabling our talented students in year eight, nine and ten to maximise their potential and take their GCSEs early."

Read the full story in Thursday's Evening News.

For more details on results including all Scarborough secondary schools, see tomorrow's Evening News.

Great News for Pindar!

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Yeah! Big Brother is to be Axed!

At last the £108M spent by Channel 4 (UK) which is part owned by the BBC, can be used for some quality TV, instead of expensive non-TV!

Funny reality TV was supposed to be economy TV but has turned out to be very expensive rubbish.

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Thursday, August 20, 2009

We should all love thy neighbour?

Dispute Between Neighbors’ - this is a true story...

A town councilor in Wales , Mark Easton, had a beautiful view of the mountains, until a new neighbour purchased the land below his house and built a new home.

The new home was 18 inches higher than the planning dept had approved, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view, went to the local authority to make sure they enforced the roof line height.
The new neighbour had to drop the roof height, at great expense.

Recently, Mark Easton called the planning dept, and informed them that his new neighbour had installed some vents on the side of his new property.

Mark didn't like the look of these vents and asked the planning dept to investigate.

When they went to Mark's home to see what the vents looked like, this is what they found...






The Local Authority said the vents can stay since there is no planning law referring to shutter design.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Thursday, August 13, 2009

Crown Spa Health Club Scarborough

There is an Open weekend at the Crown spa this weekend for those who might want to try before you buy!

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Scarborough is Sunny today!

Shame I am still at work!

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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Been on Holiday Recently? Lost your luggage?

Well it might be here! Yes lost luggage is auctioned off to the highest bidder, it is a bit of a lucky dip bid as you do not know what is in the luggage.

Here is a seriously strange site where a person buys luggage photographs it and tries to get it back to its owner.

Enjoy! http://www.isthisyourluggage.com/Site/Luggage_home.html

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Leaving Your Mark | Offbeat Earth

This is the story of a Monk who has prayed on the same spot for 70 years.

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Just got my energy bills for Gas and Electric

5 bed detached house for summer quarter

Electric £150 (must be the LED bulbs & Sonic Alarm that goes off when we use more than 2kw’s power; you cannot turn it off, easier to turn tumble dryer off than listen to alarm!)

Bit disappointed with Electric bill as was £80 last quarter, must be the dryer, right no washing of kids clothes for next quarter!

Gas bill £10 for summer quarter (spent £3K on wood boiler and burning scrap wood, only cook with Gas now, annual Gas bill was £1970 last year, so payback should be 2 -3 years)

Thanks to Paul Exley of Gas Tech Scarborough our plumber who fitted these energy saving items; he is fitting solar panels today!

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Chalk guy is back! with more images of street art!

Hard to believe that these are drawn on a FLAT surface



















































See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Saturday, August 08, 2009

Thursday, August 06, 2009

A week after a Holiday, how long to catch up with work?

Funny it has taken me 3 days to clear backlog of work from a week away (yes I did emails while I was away) and just starting to get back to being only a week behind on my jobs. Not bad going, I think.

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