A New iphone contender?
Monday, November 30, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
5 Great Lesson For Life Do Read!
| LIFE LESSONS:Lesson 1:A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you £800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?'Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.Lesson 2:A priest offered a Nun a lift..She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'Moral of the story:If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity..Lesson 3:A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'Moral of the story:Always let your boss have the first say.Lesson 4An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.Moral of the story:To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.Lesson 5A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.Morals of the story:(1) Not everyone who s***s on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of s*** is your friend. (3) And when you're in deep s***, it's best to keep your mouth shut! |
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Computer trouble! Was ID TEN T ERROR!
An old college friend told me of his computer issue he was experiencing, but he live a long way away; so there was little I could do.
In the end he called on his 14 year neighbour called Mathew, whose bedroom aparently looks like Mission Control, so he asked him to pop around and fix it. Mathew clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem in 5 minutes.
As he was walking away, my mate called after him, 'So, what was wrong? Mathew replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
My mate said "oh! That error again, I'll have to remeber the fix for that one!"
"Yes! You will!" replied Mathew. My mate didn't want to appear stupid, so he accepted the error report knowing he could ask me later.
So he rings me and says what's an, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.' Any way I say to him not a problem got a pen and paper as you don't want to forget the fix i am going to give you. Said friend hurries of for pen and paper then returns. "OK! write it down and I think you'll figure it out.' About a minute later I hear him swear! He must have figured it out answer below! ............................................................ I D 1 0 T
In the end he called on his 14 year neighbour called Mathew, whose bedroom aparently looks like Mission Control, so he asked him to pop around and fix it. Mathew clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem in 5 minutes.
As he was walking away, my mate called after him, 'So, what was wrong? Mathew replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
My mate said "oh! That error again, I'll have to remeber the fix for that one!"
"Yes! You will!" replied Mathew. My mate didn't want to appear stupid, so he accepted the error report knowing he could ask me later.
So he rings me and says what's an, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.' Any way I say to him not a problem got a pen and paper as you don't want to forget the fix i am going to give you. Said friend hurries of for pen and paper then returns. "OK! write it down and I think you'll figure it out.' About a minute later I hear him swear! He must have figured it out answer below! ............................................................ I D 1 0 T
Untitled
| ITV has announced that Katie Price will become the first person ever to appear in I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here twice and all over the country the sound of no one giving a sh1t has broken out. Another reason not to watch telly. |
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Scary story
| A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.FASTER...FASTER..BUMP...BUMP...BUMP......He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP....clappity-BUMP...on his heels, as the terrified man runs.Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.Bumping and clapping toward him.The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...and, The coffin stops |
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