What Wonderful Life?: September 2009

Met a person last Thursday (let’s call her Tracy) week purporting to be from our regional development agency, in the end Tracy was selling LED and CFL bulbs on behalf of other suppliers.

When I visit her website it says she is a PR person, but website is still under construction.

In effect Tracy was heavily pushing for us to apply for an interest free capital grant from the government to purchase light bulbs!???

Which is a bit strange for me to absorb from two points:

1. Would you get a loan that lasts 5 years to buy an consumable product that only lasts 1 year? (This is a bit like increasing your mortgage to buy a flash car, then pay it off over 25 years, when the car depreciates in value and only lasts a max of 12 years)

2. Why is there a grant for something that is common sense and economically viable without a grant?

Anyway I listened intently to Tracy to find out more and the price of the bulbs well, let’s just say I can get the bulbs cheaper at Tesco let alone importing from China.

At the end of the meeting I summarised and concluded with Tracy that we were better of continuing getting bulbs direct, Tracy finished by saying it is unusual to meet an informed person with regard to bulbs costs.

So cut to Today.

So cutting to the “fiddly bit” so anyway I can buy these bulbs direct from the manufacturer in China at a fair rate which means they pay for themselves in under a year and last for around 3 years consuming 5% of their incandescent equivalent.

Cut to surreal phone call I had, from the approved supplier, who as it turns out is a 10% broker for a number of approved suppliers.

Tracy: “OK I know you are buying these bulbs at a very good rate direct from China. How about we fill out the grant forms and we put our margin over the bulbs you bought from China and we pretend you bought them of us. That way you get you grant and we get our commission.”

David: “But we haven’t bought them from you”

Tracy: “Nothing to worry about we can sort that side out for you”

David: “But isn’t that unethical”

Tracy: “No because you are getting what you want”

David: “????????????????????????”

What is this country coming too? When you can have grants for things that do not need grants!

What do you think? Have you seen similar total nonsense and cheating on the tax payer? (apart from MP’s expenses)

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Friday, September 25, 2009

sharing a little water with koalas

via featuredweblogs.xanga.com

Cyclist shares water with a Koalas, is has been very hot and dry in Australia this week.

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Monday, September 14, 2009

It is with sad news that I report that H from Steps has passed away!

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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Economics Explained for Children!

THE DUFFERS GUIDE TO ECONOMIC MODELS EXPLAINED WITH COWS

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some

milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots

you.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then

throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and

the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the

income.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica

lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four

cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped

dead.

CitiGroup VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters

of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute

a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all

four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of

the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island

Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights

to all seven

cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company

owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a

new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No

balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because

you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an

ordinary cow and produce twenty

times the milk. You then create a

clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it

worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a

month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they

are.

You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to

you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine

productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real

situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You had two cows

But you only get to milk one per day as you knock off at lunch time.

Later you find you lost the other cow as you surrendered them to a passing army.

Now you’re not bothered as your drinking wine and it is half passed 3 in the afternoon.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy..

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to

celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.

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Fire in Front of Crown Spa Hotel Today

Not sure of the cause, but looks like one of the Victorian Shelters has been set alight!

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Being Green is Easy and Saves Money!

Over here at the Crown Spa Hotel we are presently fitting 22 solar panels to the roof and hopefully they will save around 9 standard UK households of CO2 per year. This is the final stage of our progress to reduce our carbon footprint from our 2005 levels.

Since 2005 we have reduced our CO2 from fossil fuels by 25% from 1,005,000 KG to 761,662KG CO2 in 2009. This reduction has mainly been down to behavioural changes like turning off lights, turning off unnecessary heating, computers etc...and factoring in power usage into the cost of equipment we buy.

The recent much publicised changes at the Crown Spa like wood burning boilers and solar panels have as yet to really kick in and affect the CO2 figures, these are what I call "quick fixes" as they instantly reduce CO2 emissions without the need to change behaviour.

Changing behaviour will reduce your power usage the greatest amount, 3 simple things we put into place which worked for us;

· Using cheap monitoring systems like "energy monitoring devices" (Google it!), which monitor local Phase 1 to 3 electrical feeds and give instant feedback as to usage and you can even pre-program an audible alarm when a pre-set KW limit is reach, they are relatively cheap at £25 - £50. These monitors can be located at sub power panels not just the mains feed meter. These units allow you to see what is using power when you “shut up shop”, I was amazed that a PC used 20Watts when turned off, £10 per year per PC, when not switched off at the mains! We also lent these "energy monitoring devices" to managers to try at home, many have reduced their electricity costs per quarter by £30 and hence usage by turning lights off in unused rooms, TV off at mains at night, these habits are then replicated at work..

· Assess heating and drafts, just like at home close the door or window to prevent drafts which suck energy out of the building, the main pain of my life in the hotel is the air conditioning being on when it is not needed! Or doors wide open and heating on! Yes you need fresh air but not too much, just encourage clients to close the door behind them or team members to be more aware of closing doors and windows

· Factor in power usage in your purchase decisions, many websites allow you to calculate running costs (in power usage and £’s) for comparable electrical items. For example the GU10 LED bulbs from China cost around £8 and use around 2.5W each lasting around 50,000 hours (and can now give the equivalent of a 50W halogen light), the equivalent GU10 Halogen light uses 50W of power and lasts around 5,000 hours for £1.20 per bulb. So which choice is the best financially? Well the halogen is much cheaper to buy especially if you are buying in quantity. However, if you assume that each light is lit for 8 hours per day then in 1 year the total cost to power the Halogen light is £16 and the LED £9, effectively the LED has paid for itself in 7 months! Plus it last 10 times as long.

So reducing your CO2 footprint from fossil fuel derived power is not an expensive exercise, it does not require lots of knowhow, just changing habits, behaviours' and most importantly it can be justified financially even in a recession.

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It's Official Custard Creams can KILL!

Custard Creams have been banded by the Crown Spa Hotel, Scarborough Health and safety Team, due to recent survey. On hearing of the survey (results below) this David Frank a Director at the Crown Spa Hotel immediately removed all Bourbons, Wafers and Custard Creams from the staff vending machine stating that the Risk is just too great! He was seen wandering away muttering something about taking the items into safe custody, I couldn’t personally verify this as he mouth was full!

An astounding 25 million Brits have been injured whilst enjoying a biscuit, according to a survey commissioned by the makers of the very addictive Rocky Biscuit.

500 required hospital treatment, the research company MindLab International who carried out the through research determined that almost 30% of adults have been scalded by hot beverages while dunking, 10% have broken a tooth or filling, while 26% had chocked on crumbs.

Biscuit tins did not escape analysis either, 7% of our fellow nationals have dropped a biscuit tin on their foot and another 7% were bitten feeding biscuits to a domestic pet or “wild animal”, 3% poked themselves in the eye with a biscuit (What?) and 3% fell of a chair reaching for a biscuit.

Thankfully MindLab also carried out a "Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation" (BITE) to determine which was Britain’s deadliest tasty morsel. Dr David Lewis a Mindlab director explained: “We tested the physical properties of 15 popular types of biscuits, along with aspects of their consumption such as ‘dunkability’ and crumb dispersal. “Then one of our mathematicians correlated these findings with research data and responses from a nationwide survey of 1,000 adults.”

Top of the BITE danger list is the Custard Cream with a BITE rating of 5.63 it is nigh on twice as dangerous as a Ginger Nut!

Those of you who like sucking a Ginger Nut can relax they are reasonably safe!

The safest biscuit is the Jaffa Cake with a BITE rating of 1.16. The BITE ratings have been graphed for clarity of safety.

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You a Teacher? Do You fear Chelsea, Connor, Callum

A recent survey of 3,000 teachers by Bounty.com revealed that as the teacher eyed the register in September, they'll be nervously keeping a sharp look-out for certain names which "strike fear into the nation's blackboard bother’s".

The list of those likely to make mischief includes young 'uns dubbed Aliesha, Brooke, Brooklyn, Casey, Chelsea, Connor, Crystal, Demi, Jack, Jake, Jessica, Kyle, and Liam.

Doubtless there are those among you who have a lad called Jack who's an absolute angel (Yeah! Right!), however the teacher has already got him marked down as a “wrong 'un” as soon as they clock his name.

Indeed, 49 per cent of those polled admitted they "make assumptions about a child when they take their first look at the register in September".

Bounty’s Faye Mingo diplomatically offered: “Teachers are only human and make assumptions like the rest of us. Rightly or wrongly, most of us make assumptions based on something as simple as a person’s name and we base these on our previous experiences."

There is, however, some good news for Jessica or Demi's mum and dad: 57 percent of those polled said "the naughtiest children at school are also the most popular and often make friends easier than well behaved children".

Furthermore, over a third "claimed that the naughtiest children are often the brightest - and the most sensitive". (Not in my experience though!)

So there you have it. For the record, the poll also gleaned the names least likely to provoke a panic attack, so if you want your kids well disciplined but insensitive and friendless, you'd better stick with Alexander, Alice, Benjamin, Charlotte, Elizabeth, Emma, Harry and William.

There again you could you could stick to naming you kid after the latest popular “numbo-celeb chaff”, though the little ‘un might pay for it latter!

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HP excessive packaging world record put to the test • The Register

via theregister.co.uk

As some one who buys a lot of stuff online I can really apreciate the excessive packaging issue. I was once called home to meet a delivery man holding a 1Mx1Mx1M package, confused as I hadn't ordered anything large recently. Just a RAM chio (about 10cm by 2cm). So I opened the box with the delivery man there, yes inside was lots of packaging and boxes in boxes and inside that was the RAM chip. I get the feeling these days that the companies are just trying to get rid of their waste this way and some of the pickers in the distribution centres have a bit of fun putting little packages in large boxes.

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