Custard Creams have been banded by the Crown Spa Hotel, Scarborough Health and safety Team, due to recent survey. On hearing of the survey (results below) this David Frank a Director at the Crown Spa Hotel immediately removed all Bourbons, Wafers and Custard Creams from the staff vending machine stating that the Risk is just too great! He was seen wandering away muttering something about taking the items into safe custody, I couldn’t personally verify this as he mouth was full!
An astounding 25 million Brits have been injured whilst enjoying a biscuit, according to a survey commissioned by the makers of the very addictive Rocky Biscuit.
500 required hospital treatment, the research company MindLab International who carried out the through research determined that almost 30% of adults have been scalded by hot beverages while dunking, 10% have broken a tooth or filling, while 26% had chocked on crumbs.
Biscuit tins did not escape analysis either, 7% of our fellow nationals have dropped a biscuit tin on their foot and another 7% were bitten feeding biscuits to a domestic pet or “wild animal”, 3% poked themselves in the eye with a biscuit (What?) and 3% fell of a chair reaching for a biscuit.
Thankfully MindLab also carried out a "Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation" (BITE) to determine which was Britain’s deadliest tasty morsel. Dr David Lewis a Mindlab director explained: “We tested the physical properties of 15 popular types of biscuits, along with aspects of their consumption such as ‘dunkability’ and crumb dispersal. “Then one of our mathematicians correlated these findings with research data and responses from a nationwide survey of 1,000 adults.”
Top of the BITE danger list is the Custard Cream with a BITE rating of 5.63 it is nigh on twice as dangerous as a Ginger Nut!
Those of you who like sucking a Ginger Nut can relax they are reasonably safe!
The safest biscuit is the Jaffa Cake with a BITE rating of 1.16. The BITE ratings have been graphed for clarity of safety.
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